Here are some things that happens to a dude when he first starts to speak up about feminist issues:

He discovers that women in his life whom he would never have associated with the word “feminism” have strong opinions about the things that he’s talking about. Because while we have the luxury of perceiving these things as not being about us, and thus not relevant to our lives, every woman he knows has had to consider what she’d do if she got pregnant when she didn’t not plan to. Every woman he knows has been talked down to by a man who wasn’t as smart or capable as she was. Almost all of them have been treated poorly or made uncomfortable by some dude at some point who saw getting into her pants as a prize to be won. Even women who seemed like just one of the dudes begin to share experiences that he never would have imagined that they’d had, because doing so around him begins to feel safe.

Why Feminism Is Also Dude-ism, by Dan Solomon, on the always awesome Hay Ladies

(NB: Cis women are not the only people who have to worry about pregnancy and harassment.)

anachronistique:

roxanneritchi:

Sorry, bros, I know rape culture is too complicated for y’all to wrap your pseudo-intellectual he-man brains around, but yes, there is a difference between a video game in which you kill a swath of faceless and unnamed soldiers and a game in which you perpetuate violence, sexualized or not, against a woman.
For instance, the vast majority of dudes playing Call of Duty will probably never totally snipe thirty guys in one match, brooooooo! However, a not insignificant number of dudes playing Duke Nukem Forever have probably harassed women or, if they themselves have not harassed women, they have likely downplayed or ignored the violent actions of other men against women. Culturally and socially we are taught that murder is wrong but violence against women can be and is justified. Thus, in context, war = a distant fantasy, violence against women = an immediate fantasy.
Plus, it’s just a little much for me to take anything a pair of dudes who’ve mocked and allowed the harassment of rape survivors and social justice activists have to say re: violence in video games seriously.
So, congrats, you’re contextually illiterate AND a jackass.

WHEN IN HOLE: STOP DIGGING

Oh, you crazy ladies, worrying about all your ladyshit. Don’t you know you’re boring Penny Arcade?

anachronistique:

roxanneritchi:

Sorry, bros, I know rape culture is too complicated for y’all to wrap your pseudo-intellectual he-man brains around, but yes, there is a difference between a video game in which you kill a swath of faceless and unnamed soldiers and a game in which you perpetuate violence, sexualized or not, against a woman.

For instance, the vast majority of dudes playing Call of Duty will probably never totally snipe thirty guys in one match, brooooooo! However, a not insignificant number of dudes playing Duke Nukem Forever have probably harassed women or, if they themselves have not harassed women, they have likely downplayed or ignored the violent actions of other men against women. Culturally and socially we are taught that murder is wrong but violence against women can be and is justified. Thus, in context, war = a distant fantasy, violence against women = an immediate fantasy.

Plus, it’s just a little much for me to take anything a pair of dudes who’ve mocked and allowed the harassment of rape survivors and social justice activists have to say re: violence in video games seriously.

So, congrats, you’re contextually illiterate AND a jackass.

WHEN IN HOLE: STOP DIGGING

Oh, you crazy ladies, worrying about all your ladyshit. Don’t you know you’re boring Penny Arcade?

(via gargledyarn-deactivated20110418)

Confidential to C.Q.H.

The problem with starting a fake gay-bashing group to make a point about fat-bashing is that you are participating in gay-bashing, whether you are sincere about it or not. Would you do a study on sexual harassment by going out and sexually harassing people?

It’s not about whose opinion counts more because of how much more oppressed they are. It’s about not throwing one group of people under the bus in order to make justice for another. It’s about other people’s lives not being just a metaphor for something you feel is important. 

There are the occasions that men—intellectual men, clever men, engaged men—insist on playing devil’s advocate, desirous of a debate on some aspect of feminist theory or reproductive rights or some other subject generally filed under the heading: Women’s Issues. These intellectual, clever, engaged men want to endlessly probe my argument for weaknesses, want to wrestle over details, want to argue just for fun—and they wonder, these intellectual, clever, engaged men, why my voice keeps raising and why my face is flushed and why, after an hour of fighting my corner, hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. Why do you have to take this stuff so personally? ask the intellectual, clever, and engaged men, who have never considered that the content of the abstract exercise that’s so much fun for them is the stuff of my life. Melissa McEwan, of course, on the terrible bargain. My life as a woman, as a queer person, as a fat person, is not your thought experiment. 

White guy feels bad: news at 11

Dear Zack Rosen and other cis white gay men who feel really sad that they still have to acknowledge being cis white men even while doing totally gay stuff:

You have a question. It comes up a lot.

Can a nontrans, white gay man ever truly leave the comforts of his own identity without having to make frequent and loud apologies for the crimes of his ilk?  

Tim Wise, who happens to be a white man so you can totally listen to him, bro, has an answer:

You shouldn’t feel guilty. You should feel angry.

But in order to live an ethical life, to live ethically and responsibly, I have to take some responsibility for the unearned advantage, which means working to change the society that bestows that advantage. It’s not guilt, but it is responsibility.

I hope this answers your question.