Here are some things that happens to a dude when he first starts to speak up about feminist issues:
He discovers that women in his life whom he would never have associated with the word “feminism” have strong opinions about the things that he’s talking about. Because while we have the luxury of perceiving these things as not being about us, and thus not relevant to our lives, every woman he knows has had to consider what she’d do if she got pregnant when she didn’t not plan to. Every woman he knows has been talked down to by a man who wasn’t as smart or capable as she was. Almost all of them have been treated poorly or made uncomfortable by some dude at some point who saw getting into her pants as a prize to be won. Even women who seemed like just one of the dudes begin to share experiences that he never would have imagined that they’d had, because doing so around him begins to feel safe.—
Why Feminism Is Also Dude-ism, by Dan Solomon, on the always awesome Hay Ladies
(NB: Cis women are not the only people who have to worry about pregnancy and harassment.)
Confidential to C.Q.H.
The problem with starting a fake gay-bashing group to make a point about fat-bashing is that you are participating in gay-bashing, whether you are sincere about it or not. Would you do a study on sexual harassment by going out and sexually harassing people?
It’s not about whose opinion counts more because of how much more oppressed they are. It’s about not throwing one group of people under the bus in order to make justice for another. It’s about other people’s lives not being just a metaphor for something you feel is important.
White guy feels bad: news at 11
You have a question. It comes up a lot.
Can a nontrans, white gay man ever truly leave the comforts of his own identity without having to make frequent and loud apologies for the crimes of his ilk?
Tim Wise, who happens to be a white man so you can totally listen to him, bro, has an answer:
You shouldn’t feel guilty. You should feel angry.
But in order to live an ethical life, to live ethically and responsibly, I have to take some responsibility for the unearned advantage, which means working to change the society that bestows that advantage. It’s not guilt, but it is responsibility.
I hope this answers your question.